Quote of the Day: Ann Landers

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."

~ Ann Landers

Stanwyck & MacMurray

Gents, this is a painful truth that cuts both ways.

My bride and I just watched "Double Indemnity" yesterday, a great movie that you might consider the "Fatal Attraction" of the 1940's, a film that keeps you on the marriage straight-and-narrow. In the movie, Fred MacMurray of "My Three Sons" fame plays an outstanding dirt bag, much like Andy Griffith did in "A Face in the Crowd." MacMurray is an insurance salesman who's a little too cool for his own good, and when he crosses paths with a spurned and bored wife, an outstanding Barbara Stanwyck, the two cook up a plan to off the husband and recoup the insurance payout. The only problem? Your sin will find you out (Numbers 32:23), in this film in the guise of a cigar-chomping ("Where are my matches?") Edward G. Robinson.

What do we learn from such quotes and such movies. The grass is NOT greener--it's NEVER greener on the other side of the fence. Husband, if your eyes wander from your bride now to someone who catches your eye and you trash your bride for the sake of a newer model, how long will it be before your eye begins to stray again (really, the heart of Ms. Landers' quote)?

Join me now in taking Job's pledge and make a covenant with your eyes that you will not let your eyes stray (Job 31:1). Satan desires nothing more than to see your marriage lying in ruins and your life devastated. With the power that God provides you, rebuke yourself and take your eyes and flee from those situations that cause you issue. When you hear those whispers that someone else will understand you better than your bride, identify them as the lies that they are (Proverbs 5:3-4, 7:21), and run away.

(**SPOILER ALERT**) I love the old movies because good and evil is clearly portrayed for what they are. Knowing that the wages of sin is death, it comes as no surprise to find MacMurray and Stanwyck dead at the end of the movie at the hands of the other. States may strike down laws that once made adultery illegal, but they cannot change the truth of God's word or the response of man's conscience to that truth.

Husband, love your wife by keeping your eyes upon her and by keeping your eyes upon Christ.

Eye protection

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. 90% of men struggle with their eyes (allowing them to wander where they ought not be), and the other 10% of men struggle with lying. Why is this? God created man to be captivated by the beauty, the curves, and the differences of woman. Rebellion entered the cosmos because man thought he had a better grip on things than God did, and when that happened, man's eyes began to wander from the form of his bride to the forms of other's brides. As soon as he was able to embrace the woman who captivated his every thought, he began to look over his shoulder at the others who would not be his and wonder.

Most women do not understand this. Sadly, many Christian women do not even try to grasp what's going on inside a man. As I noted in a previous blog, whether the woman understands it our not (that one did, though), she is not going to be a happy momma if her man's eyes play the field.

Before I toss out a recommendation to you, I hope you understand that you cannot control your eyes in your own strength. It won't happen. Only as we cling to Christ, pursuing him in all things and letting him be the Lord that he indeed is, can we begin to know the victory in our thoughts and with our eyes (1 John 3:6).

Here's the recommendation: Covenant Eyes. 

One of the most dangerous places for husbands to be today is the internet. A friend told me about a Christian man who dumped his wife because he got involved gaming and fell in love with a woman with whom he was gaming. Gack. Much more common, though, is internet porn of the soft- and hard-core variety. No, you don't have to troll XXX sites. You can soil your heart on Fox News or on CNN. Once, while reading the Chronicles of Narnia to my daughters, I wanted them to see what one of the mythical creatures looked like.  I went to Google Images on the computer and even with MODERATE SAFE SEARCH set, one of the top images was pornographic. I thanked God that my girls were not there when I called up the image. I tell you that because it almost cannot be avoided.

This is warfare. It is spiritual warfare. That's why we must cling desperately to our Savior. At the same time, God has given us the fellowship of believers to challenge each other in our walks with the Lord and for mutual support in the midst of the battle. That's where Covenant Eyes comes in. It is not an internet filter, that means it won't slow down your system. What it does is it records every place you go on the internet and e-mails it to a friend. The thinking is that you are less apt to go someplace when you know someone is looking over your shoulder than if you are all alone.

You can choose your partners, those who will hold you accountable. Might I recommend your wife and another man? Your wife because with her you should have no secrets and another man because there may be sites he picks up on that your wife might not. It must be a man who will have the courage to get in your chili and with whom you will not whine because he does get in your face or at least he won't care if you whine.

[Those of you with younger children may want to consider an internet filter to prevent your kids from accidently tripping into some place when you are not in close proximity.]

Job said, "I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze upon a virgin?" (Job 31:1) Let us do the same because we love our Lord and we love our wives.