"But she's not my mom!" you retort.
Spoken like a real man. She is, however and obviously, the mother of your children, oh ye of granite skull. Why not take any and every opportunity to honor your bride?
"Guess I never thought of it," as you scratch the polished marble of your forehead.
That idea may be as foreign to you as spending a day off shopping, but it's not to her. Which takes us to this: How she hears love may not be how you naturally want to tell her that you love her.
"Huh?"
Gary Chapman wrote an entire book on the topic. He referred to how people hear or receive love as "Love Languages," and he noted five of them (the following is taken from his web-site here):
Words of AffirmationThe thing of it is, if your woman loves flowers and cards but you're trying to tell her that you love her with hugs, neck rubs, and foot massages, she may not be hearing you. If your woman aches to hear "I love you" and "I appreciate all you do" but your the kind of guy who knows your wife loves you because she's still there when you get home, then you're probably not going to naturally express love to your wife through words. She may be the kind of woman that wants to hear it. A lot. Then, sir, you need to buy Rosetta Stone and learn to speak that language!
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
What's this all mean? Find out how your woman hears "I love you." It's part of what Peter's getting at when he tells us to "live with your wives in an understanding way" (1 Peter 3:7). Be a scholar of your woman. Know what makes her tick. Grease monkeys get real satisfaction out of hearing an engine hum that they have taken pain-staking care in rebuilding. Husbands should get real satisfaction over building up our brides by lavishing the love of God upon them.
Gents, we are God's vehicle for smearing love upon the woman he has given us. She is a gift. She is a treasure (Proverbs 31:10). Let's take great delight in loving our women. The rewards stagger the mind and last into eternity.
And let's try not to miss Mother's Day next year. Or the anniversary. Or her birthday. Or...
We joke about it at times, but this is so true. The work (love) she does (exhibits) in the managing of our home (children) is nothing short of amazing...especially considering I'm more exhausted covering for her after just 3 hours than I am after returning from a 3-day flying trip!
ReplyDelete"If you missed Mother's Day this year, chalk that one up as a "lesson learned." No, I'm not talking about your mom (missing that one would be bad enough). I'm talking about not honoring your wife on Mother's Day. "But she's not my mom!" you retort. Spoken like a real man. She is, however and obviously, the mother of your children, oh ye of granite skull. Why not take any and every opportunity to honor your bride? "Guess I never thought of it," as you scratch the polished marble of your forehead."
ReplyDeleteI highly take offense to this. REAL MEN know that Mother's Day is a day to honor their wives as much as their mothers. If you want to call pretty much all men Stupid, make sure you clarify that you speak ONLY for your Stupid SELF.
Other than that, the article is pretty good...