Quote of the Day: Ann Landers

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."

~ Ann Landers

Stanwyck & MacMurray

Gents, this is a painful truth that cuts both ways.

My bride and I just watched "Double Indemnity" yesterday, a great movie that you might consider the "Fatal Attraction" of the 1940's, a film that keeps you on the marriage straight-and-narrow. In the movie, Fred MacMurray of "My Three Sons" fame plays an outstanding dirt bag, much like Andy Griffith did in "A Face in the Crowd." MacMurray is an insurance salesman who's a little too cool for his own good, and when he crosses paths with a spurned and bored wife, an outstanding Barbara Stanwyck, the two cook up a plan to off the husband and recoup the insurance payout. The only problem? Your sin will find you out (Numbers 32:23), in this film in the guise of a cigar-chomping ("Where are my matches?") Edward G. Robinson.

What do we learn from such quotes and such movies. The grass is NOT greener--it's NEVER greener on the other side of the fence. Husband, if your eyes wander from your bride now to someone who catches your eye and you trash your bride for the sake of a newer model, how long will it be before your eye begins to stray again (really, the heart of Ms. Landers' quote)?

Join me now in taking Job's pledge and make a covenant with your eyes that you will not let your eyes stray (Job 31:1). Satan desires nothing more than to see your marriage lying in ruins and your life devastated. With the power that God provides you, rebuke yourself and take your eyes and flee from those situations that cause you issue. When you hear those whispers that someone else will understand you better than your bride, identify them as the lies that they are (Proverbs 5:3-4, 7:21), and run away.

(**SPOILER ALERT**) I love the old movies because good and evil is clearly portrayed for what they are. Knowing that the wages of sin is death, it comes as no surprise to find MacMurray and Stanwyck dead at the end of the movie at the hands of the other. States may strike down laws that once made adultery illegal, but they cannot change the truth of God's word or the response of man's conscience to that truth.

Husband, love your wife by keeping your eyes upon her and by keeping your eyes upon Christ.

The lethality of the straying heart

If you tell a child not to touch the plate of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, that will be the very thing they want to do. When they take one illicitly, they lose the chance to get two later with your blessing on top of incurring your disappointment and the associated punishment.

In most of life, God calls us to hold out for something better, for a reward that will be far greater. This is seen in vivid and garish color when looking upon the state of sexual America. Folks are humping with all the commitment and intimacy of junk yard dogs, yet they wonder why those relationships--if they can be called that-- are so unsatisfying. God unleashes the sexual relationship within the confines of marriage (Hebrews 13:4), and he does so with eye-popping power.

Consider:

IT BRINGS ABOUT CHILDREN. I can't fix a garbage disposal, but with my bride, God has used us to create what the world sees now as four men! What a jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring thing. The sweet affections, the pounding passion of husband and wife brings about something grander still, a child.

IT THWARTS SATAN'S DESIGNS. I've spoken often about Satans intentions. He is a deceiver and a destroyer. All good things of God, Satan likes to see in smouldering ruins. That includes your marriage. Paul gives the Corinthian church an innoculation against such attacks against the marriage: Get in bed. So volatile is the sexual relationship that Paul says if you don't make it a regular, frequent priority in your marriage you actually give Satan a foothold (1 Corinthians 7:5).

Such power outside marriage leads to devastation. This is true of pre-marital encounters (who can vouch for the struggles of toting such baggage into a marriage?) and extra-marital encounters. Gents, take some time and give this article a read. It's a tragic plea from Wendy Plump about the wreckage that is her marriage due to extra-marital affairs on her part and her husband's part. I don't believe that she is a believer; you'll find "God" nowhere in her words. But you will find the truth of God's word and its consequences riddled throughout.

Consider these statements. Each could have a book written about it.

-- "You will be found out." You're no brighter than your children. Sin cannot be covered up. The seeds you have planted in your rebellion and disobedience will bear fruit that betrays.

-- After an affair, "You will hear yourself saying you cheated because your needs weren’t being met. The spark was gone. You were bored in your marriage. Your lover understands you better. One or another version of this excuse will cross your lips like some dark, knee-jerk Hallmark-card sentiment." Sin breeds excuses. Man up. Confess your sin for what it is. Better yet, don't travel this cadaver strewn highway.

-- "I’m not saying these feelings aren’t legitimate, just that they don’t legitimize what you’re doing." It cannot be said with greater clarity and sobriety than that.

-- "The great sex, by the way, is a given. When you have an affair you already know you will have passionate sex — the urgency, newness and illicit nature of the affair practically guarantee that." Solomon said the same things to his sons but that while it's sweet at the time, the end is death and bitterness (Proverbs 5:1-6). Bubba, if your physical relationship with your wife isn't great, make it great! If you don't know how, get some help. Talk to a man whose marriage you respect. Read a book. Talk to your wife. Get to work. It's worth the trouble!

-- "I knew I needed to stop it, but didn’t have the will to do so on my own." Oh, the quicksand of sin! Brother, if you are caught in sin, if you're adultering your wife, if pornography is an issue, then get help. Again, seek a man whose walk with Christ you respect. Talk to your pastor if he is that man. Look for a man who will not soft pedal your sin but call it the rebellion against God that it is and provide you with steps to take to turn your back on that sin.

-- "Sooner or later your illicit, once-beloved object of affection will become tawdry, wearying." The promises of sin will become emptiness and ruin. Satan will not make things better. Your sin and rebellion will only make things worse.

I'll leave you with Mrs. Plump's final paragraphs.

I look at my parents and at how much simpler their lives are at the ages of 75, mostly because they haven’t marred the landscape with grand-scale deceit. They have this marriage of 50-some years behind them, and it is a monument to success. A few weeks or months of illicit passion could not hold a candle to it.

If you imagine yourself in such a situation, where would you fit an affair in neatly? If you were 75, which would you rather have: years of steady if occasionally strained devotion, or something that looks a little bit like the Iraqi city of Fallujah, cratered with spent artillery?

God's got a better plan. It's a long-term plan, long-term for this life and long-term for the life to come. Trust him and enjoy the ride.

Keep your promise!

Howdy, gents.

Racing toward another volatile election, the airwaves continue a non-stop bombardment that this election will prove a pivot-point for our nation. While I won't dismiss the importance of the November vote, it's not the man in the White House that will determine our nation's future. It's the man in the mirror.

The other day my son watched a program on ESPN about the murder of a youth on the streets of urban Chicago who promised to be the next basketball phenom. The piece pulled on heartstrings but failed to address the prime failing in our urban jungles, the disintegration of the family. Let's aim the scope with a bit more precision because most of the time the disintegration of the family occurs because the man (husband, father) refuses to act the man, refuses to shoulder his responsibility, refuses to fight his temptations, and refuses to honor his vows, his covenant to his wife and to his God.

I can sit hear, fingers pecking away, and plead that you should love your wife. I've done that plenty and will continue to do so because God's word tells us to do that, but telling you to love your wife will have as much impact on your family as our next president will have upon our national throes because what we are as a nation depends not so much as who's at the top but upon the quality of the people.  Likewise, who I am as a husband, father, and friend depends upon the quality and treasures of my heart. There is only one way to change a heart, let God do it.

A lengthy passage from Ezekiel, but let it resonate:

Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Lord God, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes. I will take you from the nations and gather you from all the countries and bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. And I will summon the grain and make it abundant and lay no famine upon you. I will make the fruit of the tree and the increase of the field abundant, that you may never again suffer the disgrace of famine among the nations. Then you will remember your evil ways, and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominations. It is not for your sake that I will act, declares the Lord God; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel.

As is true for Israel, so true for man today. A man may will to do, he may try to do, but in the end, he will reap frustration (Romans 7:24). He will remain a self-absorbed, self-impressed, self-loving husband, father, and friend. Only the power of God in a redeemed life can impel and motivate a man to love another as Christ has loved him (John 15:12-13) and to lay down his life for another, especially his wife (Ephesians 5:25).



Dinesh D'Souza

This is why Maggie Gallagher's story of Dinesh D'Souza (here) and stories like it are particularly grievous. "Is it a bad thing that I am engaged before my divorce is final?" Might I ask why a Christian is divorcing his bride in the first place?

Yes, I know, sin can ravage any marriage. Yes, God did provide a wafer-thin avenue for divorce when a spouse has shown disregard and contempt for the vow that they have made. At the same time, when a man loves the Lord his God with all his heart, all his soul, all his mind, and all his strength, he will love his wife as Christ loved the church, and if he so does, I contend that his wife would be hard pressed to leave her man. If a man pursues his woman with so compelling a love, divorce rates will shrivel in the land.

Here's how Ms. Gallagher closed her essay.

After all, is marriage such a horrible cross to bear?

With marriage, you choose one woman. You promise to love just her the way that God loves everyone, until death do you part.

So love her. Keep your vows close...Show your children, show other people's children, that in this too-swift race between love and death, which is all that our lives are, that love can be trusted.

If Christians could just do that and nothing else, it would transform our culture.

If we cannot do that, I fear, nothing else will.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Husband, love your God.  Love your wife.

A husband's biggest mistake?

From the other room, I heard a sober "Wow," fall from the lips of my wife. "Check this out," she beckoned. The quote that caught her eye:

A MAN'S BIGGEST MISTAKE 

IS GIVING ANOTHER MAN 

AN OPPORTUNITY TO 

MAKE HIS WOMAN SMILE.

Let's apply it to where to our marriage relationships:

A HUSBAND'S BIGGEST MISTAKE 

IS GIVING ANOTHER MAN 

AN OPPORTUNITY TO 

MAKE HIS WIFE SMILE.

Really my point here is not to argue the greatest mistake or whether or not mistakes equate directly to sin. I would like you to simply let the main idea of the maxim marinate in your mind.

Let's revisit that which we've tried to hammer home in the past. 

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

~ Proverbs 18:22

King Lemuel highlighted the same point by driving home that an excellent wife is worth far more than jewels (Proverbs 31:10). Peter's usage of "weaker vessel" also points to the valuable and precious thing that is a wife. If a man is married, he has no greater treasure in this life than the one that lays beside him at night. She is...

His best friend. 

His lover. 

His helper. 

His completer. 

His confidant. 

His comforter. 

His encourager. 

His rebuker.

Some might bluster that these are actions of God. Yes. God should be my best friend. I should have no greater love in this life than him. He is described as Comforter and yes, he disciplines. But he is the One who has given man woman on this earth to do and be these things in the physical realm. This is a good thing (or so says Almighty God).


Back, then, to the old saw at the start of the post. Do I so treasure my woman, do I hold her in such high honor and high esteem, do I love her so deeply and so completely that if another man does make her smile, she snickers inside because she has a man at home that does so much more for her than make her smile?

A man who listens to what she says 

A man who loves her from stem to stern 

A man who is tender in a manner that doesn't always lead to the bedroom 

A man who is strong and will not be domineered

A man who serves in the home, in the community, in the church, and in his work 

A man who leads his family and leads his wife

A man who seeks to satisfy her physical and emotional needs 

 A man who will join his wife in her joys from time to time 

A man who invites his woman to join him in his

They say that the best defense is a good offense. The best way to prevent adulterous leanings? Have a great marriage now. The best way to have a great marriage now? You be a great husband now! As husbands and wives honor God by becoming one flesh (and ALL that that entails inside and outside the bedroom), they give no place for Satan to do his dirty work, destroy the marriage, and disgrace the name of God (1 Corinthians 7:5).


So husband, love your wife. Go make her smile!

I wanna be a hero, Part II

Bob Parr, "The Incredibles"

In Pixar's masterful work, The Incredibles, Buddy Pine loves the heroes. He wants to be a hero. When dusted by Mr. Incredible (aka Bob Parr), Buddy takes matters into his own hands. He's going to be a hero. He'll be noticed.


And that's precisely the problem with wanting to be a hero. You get your perspective all askew, and pretty soon you've wreaked havoc on a city and have become jet-engine paté.


When last we met on these hallowed shores, the topic on the table was man's innate desire to do things heroic, a desire knit by God into the fabric of his being. If you so desire, you can catch up by touching here (you can also hear there the song that got me cogitating on the subject in the first place).


There is a huge difference between desiring to be a hero and desiring to do something heroic. The one points inward while the other points outward.


But who doesn't relish praise? In the right context, it's not a bad thing. Consider that even Jesus encouraged his hearers to live in such a way that they might one day hear "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" tumble from the lips of the Father (Matthew 25:21, 23). If my entire purpose in life becomes my glory, I have missed the most important purpose for my life and that is his glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). When one longs for his own praises, he becomes the character in the second verse of Steve Taylor's, "Hero."

Growing older you'll find
That illusions are bought
And the idol you thought you'd be
Was just another zero.

I wanna be a hero.

Heroes died when the squealers bought 'em off,
Died when the dealers got 'em off,
Welcome to the "in it for money as an idol" show.

When they ain't as big as life,
When they ditch their second wife,
Where's the boy to go?

Gotta be a hero.

Hero!
It's a nice-boy notion that the real world's gonna destroy.
You know
It's a Marvel comic book Saturday matinee fairytale, boy.

Wow. That's a downer. When hall-of-famers end their human race by putting a shotgun in their mouth because they can't cope. When men of God walk into sin by closing the door to counsel the distraught woman ("she needs me, you know"). When Presidents disgrace their office and thereby our nation with a game of White House fellatio. When families lie in rubble because their man didn't hit it big at the poker table when he knew he would, or because the second mortgage went to pay off the pusher to get one more bag, or because the boss (and the police) finally caught up with the money he was skimming from the company's coffers.


Just another zero. But I wanna be a hero. I gotta be a hero.


Wanna? Okay. Gotta? Not really. Desiring to be used heroically by God or to do heroic things is as normal as Blake Griffin defying gravity and hitting 7.9 on the richter scale with a slam dunk that reverberates all the way to Schenectady. Trying to be a hero leads to vanity, self-absorption, compromise, and putting yourself on the throne in God's stead.


To be usable in the hands of God, to be used in any manner he sees fit, it starts with the small stuff because that's where God calls you to be faithful.


-- Tell the truth because you love God, you know he is the source and God of truth (Psalm 119:160), and you want to look like your heavenly Father.


-- Do not steal but give because God is a God who is lavish in his giving and calls us to be the pipeline of his grace and goodness to those starved for such nourishment.


-- Be faithful to your woman because you love God and because God is ever faithful, you long to be like him and please him by remaining true to your wife.


-- Obey God in all the little things. If we cannot be faithful in the small stuff, can we be entrusted at all with the big stuff (Matthew 25:23)?


The real hero is the guy still eager to get home to his wife after work not despite but because of having lived together for 45 years.


He is the guy who has been a faithful and true laborer for his company for fifty years, happy to have and to do his job which he does so with the dependability of the sunrise.


He's the unknown guy who has served on the mission field for 60 years for God's good pleasure.


Really, brother, the best hero, the real Hero in this drama remains unchanged. He's the example for all to follow, the Author and Finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Verse three from Mr. Taylor.

When the house fell asleep
From a book I was led
To a light that I never knew.
"I wanna be your hero."

And he spoke to my heart
From the moment I prayed,
"Here's a pattern I made for you.
"I wanna be your hero. 
"I wanna be your hero."

Wow, again. The very One who said, "No greater love has any man than this that he lay down his life for his friends," defined heroism with his life. He is the greatest good. He so loved the world that he became man that he might die as a man to save those who would turn to him from eternal damnation. And "To all who receive him, who believe in his name, he gave the right to become the children of God" (John 1:12). Wow.


It is quite likely that the real hero will never comprehend in this life the full extent of his heroics because though he longs to accomplish them, he won't realize he is so doing. It will be the furthest thing from his mind. It will go unrecognized and unheralded, but that never means it will go unseen. 


Be obedient in all things. Live bowed and submitted to our God and King, so much so that when we are finished, we can only respond that we have done our duty (Luke 17:10). We have carried out the commands of our Master.


Then, on that day, the King will call us before his throne. We will go with uncertainty, awed and humbled at the splendor of his glory. Jesus will look into our eyes, put his hands on our shoulders, and with a smile at his lips and a tear in his eye, say, "Well done." Stunned by such proclamation, we will replay the 8-track of our life trying to pinpoint the Super Bowl touchdown or the grenade we fell upon of which he is speaking, only to find that there were no such events. 


With perfect clarity, Christ will recount the tiniest details of the minutest acts that we did for his glory--things we thought so inconsequential, and he will say, "These things you did for me!"


You might not have to dart into a burning home. You may never administer CPR or the Heimlich. You might not score a goal or be asked your opinion by anyone outside your family. Such opportunities are not of your make. You can only be ready to respond, "Here am I! Send me, please." Until then, just do those things God calls you to do and trust him for the outcome. There is nothing more heroic.

I wanna be a hero, Part One

I love Steve Taylor. No, not the Aerosmith guy (or the American Idol guy for anyone under thirty). Steve Taylor is a singer/song writer/producer. Great music, in my humble opinion. Biting, incisive lyrics. He skewers everyone, inside the church and out, not just to skewer but to exhort and if necessary, convict. Consider him a prophet, of sorts. I recommended him to some friends and let them listen to his CD, Squint. When they returned it, they looked at me as if I'd tried to feed them sauteed puppies. To each their own.

Anyway, Taylor penned a little ditty titled "Hero" that speaks to the seed within the soul of every man that long's to be just that, a hero. Here's the first verse:

When the house fell asleep
There was always a light
And it fell from the page to the eyes
Of an American boy.

In a storybook land
I could dream what I read
When it went to my head I'd see
I wanna be a hero.

But the practical side
Said the question was still
When you grow up what will you be?
I wanna be a hero

Hero!
It's a nice-boy notion that the real world's gonna destroy.
You know
It's a Marvel comic book Saturday matinee fairytale, boy.

Little boys grow up wanting to be heroes. It's as inherent in their nature as dumptrucks and digging dirt. Many women don't understand this about their man, that inside there is a man who aches to do great things, to score the final goal in overtime to win the Stanley Cup or to go all the way and lay down your life for something greater than yourself, for God or for country. Theologian of yesteryear, Phillips Brooks (yes, both ess-es belong), captured this itch when he wrote,

"Bad will be the day, for every man when he becomes absolutely contented with the life that he is living, with the thoughts that he is thinking, with the deeds that he is doing, when there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do because he is still, in spite of all, the child of God."

Almost as if he were sticking his finger into the chest of the 21st century American church, Brooks "called for a manliness in the ministry and deplored "the absence of the heroic element" in the churches."*


Why do you think comic books sell? Why do we drop dollar after dollar to watch Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and Spiderman? Why do grown men count the days until The Dark Knight Rises? Why is Gladiator a great movie? How about Glory? Why do tears fill my eyes even now when I think of the Iron Giant streaking toward the sky to obliterate the nuke at the cost of his own life to save his friends. "I'm Superman." Why can you find minor league ball parks in tiniest corners of America? Why do we stand in awe as the elderly men of the VFW shuffle down the street during the parade? Why do men enlist year after year after year despite the ebb and flow of American military favor? What gives?

"I wanna be a hero."


I have heard it said that God gives us a good appetite for the good things he has created. Food, relationship, and yes, sex come quickly to mind. I believe that God created his men to long to do great things on his behalf. The man who longs to save souls from the pit of hell has the heart of a hero. So, too, the man who toils to provide an income for his wife and children. So, too, the man who longs to paint the masterpiece or pen a soul-stirring ballad. To save, to create, to provide, to be relied upon and depended upon. To do a good thing. Jesus declared heroism's epitome when he said, "No greater love has any man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends."


It is truly a God-thing. It's knit into the heart of man.

Heroism is often thankless and mostly unseen. Its costs are high and its rewards often thin. It demands the totality of self, laying ourselves into the hands of our Creator that he might do with us what he will even at the cost of our lives. Considering this is a blog to husbands, you know full well where you are to pour out your life. She might recognize it. She might not. But you are to be your woman's hero on this earth. You are her defender and friend. You are her comforter and provider. All of these things are God-things that he has assigned to you in this life. You are the vehicle through which he pours his heroism into your wife.

Be that man. But be careful. Worse than Syndrome's cape, pitfalls await the man who wants to be a hero. And that will take us to the song's second verse.  In a day or two.


*Warren Wiersbe, "50 Christians Every Christian Should Know," (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2009), p. 154

Wisdom from Jay

A beautiful painting is a beautiful painting--no matter from whose brush the paint touched the canvas.


A wonderful song is a wonderful song--no matter the lyricist or the musician.


And a true statement is a true statement no matter the tongue that forms the words. Despite the likelihood that he is currently burning in hell, I suspect even 'Dolph Hitler spoke one or two true statements during his mad and deranged life. Perhaps he declared the beauty of a sunset. Maybe he got a math question correct from his teacher in kindergarten.

Truth is truth regardless. The objective Standard for truth and beauty and goodness is the Source of truth and beauty and goodness, the One who created these things whose qualities flow from the essential nature of his being.


Don't expect to find much wisdom and truth leaping off the pages of the Sunday newspaper Parade Magazine. Neither would you expect to find them in an interview with Jay Leno. Perhaps a smile or two but no quotes to etch in marble. Smiles being in slim supply these past months, I plunged in, and lo--to my surprise, I found nuggets of truth and wisdom.


The first quote that got me nodding came about as he elaborated on his motor vehicle hobbies.

"I have about 135 cars and 90 motorcycles.  It's a little silly, but my thing has always been one woman and 200 vehicles.  It's cheaper than one car and 200 girlfriends."

Truth in jest.  I don't think he meant that one-woman was silly but his vehicular fetish. No, Mr. Leno is a rarity in Hollywood in that he sees the pain that comes from not being able to reign one's libido. Solomon suggested something similar minus the wit when he said,

"Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death." (Proverbs 7:27)

A bit later he was asked what kept his marriage working. He quipped,

"If you don't fool around, it's not that hard."

Wow.  Kind of the anti-Nike.  Just don't do it.  Sounds a lot like "Thou shalt not commit adultery" minus the King James English.


Really, if adultery is not an option (as it ought not be), it's much like flying in an airplane without a parachute. If you want to make the final destination, you have to work together to get the plane going again when it starts sputtering.  There's no jumping out mid-flight. Tracy and I have made it a point never to use the d-word ("divorce," if crosswords aren't your thing). No parachute. Not an option. Might I challenge you, brothers, to never, EVER consider the a-word (word three this paragraph). Just don't do it.


Leno continued,

"I think the key to life is low self-esteem--believing you're not the smartest or most handsome person in the room. All the people who have high self-esteem are criminals and actors."

Try this on,

"What is man that you are mindful of him?" (Psalm 8:4)

Or

"All our righteousnesses are like filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6)

Or

"Certainly every man at his best state is but a vapor." (Psalm 39:5)

In fact, man's rebellious pride keeps him from seeing his sin and confessing it before a holy God. But think about what he said in your relationship with your wife. If every day you were continually amazed that such an extraordinary, beautiful woman would have you as her man, if you saw her as the unsurpassing treasure and priceless gift from the very hand of God made specially for you, would you not treat your bride with greater honor? When my opinion of myself begins to burgeon within my marriage relationship, I start getting demanding and having unfair expectations. Tenderness wanes. Curtness and rudeness become the norm. Perhaps this is why Paul encouraged the church at Philippi 

"...in humility count others more significant than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3b)

 No, Jay Leno is not Jonathan Edwards. And please, don't tune into The Tonight Show to improve your marriage or to plumb the mysteries of the universe. I have to admit, though, as a husband, I was greatly encouraged to see a man of wealth, fame, and even power have a high regard for his wife and his marriage. A nugget of truth. An encouragement to the heart.


So take it from Jay.  Love your wife. 

I think I'll cheat

Brothers, I have another post in the works, but sometimes a bear sticks its nose in your tent and you have to deal with the beast. 


When you went to work today, did you think to yourself, "I think I'll start an affair today?" The subtitle to that thought could be, "I believe I will put a truckload of TNT up against my marriage and my family and blow them to smithereens." For the man of God, for the man who loves his Christ and seeks to honor him with all he says and does, such thoughts surpass the ludicrous, don't they? How is it then that affairs happen, that such a weed takes root in our heart?


My wife linked an article today from World Magazine's online blog.  You can find it here if you wish, but I have included it in its entirety below.  Please, take the two minutes to read and to consider your own marriage.  Brothers, if we are not purposeful with our lives, if we do not consider all that we say and do, we have begun to load up the truck.

HOW AN AFFAIR BEGINS

by Andreé Seu

A friend of mine told me that now she understands how adultery begins.

She went to a woman’s house to drop off a package as a favor to someone, but the woman was not home. The husband was, and they exchanged pleasantries for a few moments. My friend noticed the carpentry project the man was working on and commented on his artistry. She asked him a few questions about it, and it didn’t take much to encourage him to spill forth for an hour and a half about every aspect of the work. It was fun.

At some point in the conversation, the man made the comment that his wife doesn’t let him go on and on like that about his hobbies. That’s when my friend felt a curious check in her spirit. As she drove home, she thought with a shudder how she had enjoyed the flattery of being told she is a superior listener.

That was a narrow escape. We are warned of these sand traps:

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith …” (1 Peter 5:8-9).

This is the substance of life, which you may choose to take seriously or not. The devil is real and is busy. Like one pastor said, “You should see the top of Satan’s desk: It’s covered with overflowing ashtrays, crumpled papers, and half-drunk cups of coffee.” Satan comes in like an angel of light and departs with a fiendish cackle over carcasses strewn in the wilderness (1 Corinthians 10:5).

I personally know of an affair that started when a married woman I know told a married man I know that she had had a dream about him. That was one foot on the banana peel. It could have been nipped in the bud at that point but was not. Each small subsequent decision sealed their fate, and great was the destruction in the final scene.

Wives, love your husbands well, being their best friends. Husbands, love your wives well. A good marriage is a bulwark against the footholds of the Adversary.

She said it, men.  Love your wives.  Don't go near the truck. 

Gone in an instant

"You do not know what tomorrow will bring."

~ James

In 1974, "Gone in 60 Seconds" told the the tale of car thieves. You run into Stripes to grab a soda and come out to find an empty parking spot. You have a car one minute and faster than you can say Penn & Teller, you're a pedestrian.

The Japanese know this full well. A beautiful morning. The earth trembles and the coastline disappears beneath the heaving sea. Thousands did not understand that they would face their creator in a few brief hours.

One moment you have a job, then your boss calls you into his office and you become just another useless bit of weight tossed overboard trying to keep a boat afloat.

God has warned us about life in a fallen world. The sun rises and sets with hypnotic regularity.  Surely, I will see the sunset tonight. In this world, we have to come to terms with sudden crises. At the beginning of May, the folks in Joplin, Missouri, looked forward to another normal summer. Today, they're still picking up the pieces from the tornado that bulldozed their town on May 22nd.

Dealing with such devastation is bad enough. Inflicting it is much, much worse.

One fateful night three thousand years ago, David strolled the rooftop of his palace. Before that night, in 2 Samuel 7 we read of God's covenant with the man after his own heart, a covenant to establish his kingdom..  In 2 Samuel 8 and 10, we read of the security and strength God brought to Israel through the hand of David and his strong leadership among his people (8:15). 2 Samuel 8 reveals to us the tender heart to this mighty warrior.  Then comes 2 Samuel 11.

From the rooftop, David catches a glimpse of Bathsheba in all her glory. Understand, David had other wives (plural) within his palace. Had he simply gotten his libido into a dander, certainly one of his wives could have satisfied him. But he lingered and ensnared himself in a devastating endeavour. James 1:13-15 in story form.

His consolidated kingdom became a place of chaos as rebellion burbled to life even within his own palace. Did the sins of the father lead to the ultimate demise of Israel (1 Kings 11:3)?

Here's the deal.  Do you really think that on that singular evening, David intended to bring about the demise of his kingdom and God's people?  I doubt it, but that is what he did. The pain, the death, the sorrow, and the agony heaped upon his head and the head of so many others for the oh so brief pleasure of sin for a season?

While none of us is king to a nation, your life has enormous impact well beyond the reach of your arm. You are one flesh with your woman. You may have sons and daughters who look to you to lead them toward the Lord. Many in the church depend upon you and your service. You are, if you name the name of Christ, his ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20) to a lost and dying world in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and in your community. If you let your guard down for an evening, you may find yourself mauled (1 Peter 5:8).

Take a few moments and read this article by John MacArthur on the fragility of our character and our reputation, but I ask you to consider it in light of your role as a husband. Many of us will have to deal with catastrophe from the world around us, but let it not be so that catastrophe comes upon us through our own hands.

Gents, always, love your wives!