Wisdom from Jay

A beautiful painting is a beautiful painting--no matter from whose brush the paint touched the canvas.


A wonderful song is a wonderful song--no matter the lyricist or the musician.


And a true statement is a true statement no matter the tongue that forms the words. Despite the likelihood that he is currently burning in hell, I suspect even 'Dolph Hitler spoke one or two true statements during his mad and deranged life. Perhaps he declared the beauty of a sunset. Maybe he got a math question correct from his teacher in kindergarten.

Truth is truth regardless. The objective Standard for truth and beauty and goodness is the Source of truth and beauty and goodness, the One who created these things whose qualities flow from the essential nature of his being.


Don't expect to find much wisdom and truth leaping off the pages of the Sunday newspaper Parade Magazine. Neither would you expect to find them in an interview with Jay Leno. Perhaps a smile or two but no quotes to etch in marble. Smiles being in slim supply these past months, I plunged in, and lo--to my surprise, I found nuggets of truth and wisdom.


The first quote that got me nodding came about as he elaborated on his motor vehicle hobbies.

"I have about 135 cars and 90 motorcycles.  It's a little silly, but my thing has always been one woman and 200 vehicles.  It's cheaper than one car and 200 girlfriends."

Truth in jest.  I don't think he meant that one-woman was silly but his vehicular fetish. No, Mr. Leno is a rarity in Hollywood in that he sees the pain that comes from not being able to reign one's libido. Solomon suggested something similar minus the wit when he said,

"Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death." (Proverbs 7:27)

A bit later he was asked what kept his marriage working. He quipped,

"If you don't fool around, it's not that hard."

Wow.  Kind of the anti-Nike.  Just don't do it.  Sounds a lot like "Thou shalt not commit adultery" minus the King James English.


Really, if adultery is not an option (as it ought not be), it's much like flying in an airplane without a parachute. If you want to make the final destination, you have to work together to get the plane going again when it starts sputtering.  There's no jumping out mid-flight. Tracy and I have made it a point never to use the d-word ("divorce," if crosswords aren't your thing). No parachute. Not an option. Might I challenge you, brothers, to never, EVER consider the a-word (word three this paragraph). Just don't do it.


Leno continued,

"I think the key to life is low self-esteem--believing you're not the smartest or most handsome person in the room. All the people who have high self-esteem are criminals and actors."

Try this on,

"What is man that you are mindful of him?" (Psalm 8:4)

Or

"All our righteousnesses are like filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6)

Or

"Certainly every man at his best state is but a vapor." (Psalm 39:5)

In fact, man's rebellious pride keeps him from seeing his sin and confessing it before a holy God. But think about what he said in your relationship with your wife. If every day you were continually amazed that such an extraordinary, beautiful woman would have you as her man, if you saw her as the unsurpassing treasure and priceless gift from the very hand of God made specially for you, would you not treat your bride with greater honor? When my opinion of myself begins to burgeon within my marriage relationship, I start getting demanding and having unfair expectations. Tenderness wanes. Curtness and rudeness become the norm. Perhaps this is why Paul encouraged the church at Philippi 

"...in humility count others more significant than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3b)

 No, Jay Leno is not Jonathan Edwards. And please, don't tune into The Tonight Show to improve your marriage or to plumb the mysteries of the universe. I have to admit, though, as a husband, I was greatly encouraged to see a man of wealth, fame, and even power have a high regard for his wife and his marriage. A nugget of truth. An encouragement to the heart.


So take it from Jay.  Love your wife. 

Corporal punishment

Okay, husband, time to put on your Dad Hat.  If you're not a dad yet, then put on your I'm-Imagining-I'm-a-Dad Hat. Let's say you tell your son, "Please make your bed." You stated it with sufficient volume that you had no doubt the sound waves carried at 700+ miles per hour to your progeny's ear. His eyeballs, clear and focused, were on your face so you had every reason to believe they saw your lips move at very nearly the same instant that your words tom-tom'ed upon his ear drums.

Now, imagine your reaction if you received the following reactions to your message.

• NADA.  Zip.  Nothing. The head turns back to the iTouch and the current game of Angry Words with Friends. No. Surely not. Laurence Olivier could not have delivered the lines with greater verve and clarity. You know you were heared, but you didn't even get an acknowledgment that you had communicated.  Ignored.

How 'bout this one.

• THE FORGETFUL ENTHUSIAST. "Wilco, pops! Right away. I'm on it. Let me just finish this episode of NCIS-Des Moines." An hour later he's out the door to spend the day with friends. Later you saunter down the hall to get something out of the back bedroom and your eye catches the rumpled heap of a bed as you pass Junior's room. Great intentions. Just gets busy with other things. Distracted like a puppy in a field of butterflies.

Ah, we're just getting started.

• THE SNOW JOB. "Yes, sir." Okay, but you know that the affirmative response has been used in the past to get you off of their back. So you pursue.  "Did you understand me?" "Yes, Dad. I'll get on it." Twenty-minutes later, they haven't moved an inch. No intention of bed making; just pitching answers to satisfy dad's demands.
• THE LAWYER. After twenty-minutes of inaction you poke, "Did you get your bed made?" Up to the bar they stride, "Did you mean today? You didn't clarify the date nor the time of when you wanted me to conclude the bed-making enterprise. Could you get that in writing and notarized for me next time, and I'd like at least twenty-four hours of advanced warning so I can ensure all of the equipment is in place to complete said tasking."
• THE REBEL. No sooner has the message hit the cortex of your child's brain than the word, "No" falls from their lips with nary a change of expression. Eyes locked. Icy defiance.

So how would you handle those responses to your command?

Now the tougher question: Which of these children are you?

Try these commands from your Father on for size.  Most you've heard here before:

"Dwell with your wives with understanding" (1 Peter 3:7)

"Show honor to your wife as the weaker vessel" (Same)

"Love your wife as Christ loved the church..." (Ephesians 5:25)

"...and gave himself up for her" (Same)

"Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28)

"Do not be harsh with them" (Colossians 3:19)

"Do not deprive (your wife)" (1 Corinthians 7:5)

"Out do (your wife) in showing honor" (Romans 12:10)

"Comfort (your wife)" (2 Corinthians 13:11)

"Through love, serve (your wife)" (Galatians 5:13)

"Do not lie to (your wife)" (Colossians 3:9)

"And let us consider how to stir up (our wives) to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging (our wives), and all the more as you see the Day drawing near" (Hebrews 10:24b-25)

"Do not grumble against (your wife)" (James 5:9)

How's that for starters? I haven't nearly exhausted Scripture. If you are doing these things, keep on. If not, I ask my question again. Which child are you? What is your reason for bristling against the bit? Are any of the child's excuses valid? Has God left you any loopholes in the above commandments?

Husband, love your God. Worship him. Commit to him.  And thereby love your wife.

A man richly blessed

Her



That would be me, the man richly blessed.

Why is that? Because God saw fit to bring to me as my bride the woman with whom I have walked the last twenty-six-plus years of my life.

Really?? you query. There are some 3.5 billion women on the planet. What makes yours special?

Thank you for asking.

** There is no other like her. She is a one of a kind handcrafted by the Sovereign of the universe. Hike the mountains of Tibet, and you'll not find her duplicate. Dive the Marianas Trench with John Cameron, and she won't be there either.

** She is my wife. For those who know me even a little bit, you understand what an extraordinary person that must be. More on that in a bit.

** She is the mother of six children (now eight) and grandmother of one. Yes, there are other mothers, but none are her. None have invested into our children as she has. None has loved them the way she has. None has invested in them as she has. Some would say she hasn't worked a day in her life. Her sons would scoff such idiocy. They are who they are because she is who she is.

** She is the daughter of the King. Truly, it is a sight to behold to watch the King conform one of his children to his image. Breathtaking really. She looks more and more like him every day and it blesses me more and more that he has given her to me to be my bride.

** She is my very best friend. I would rather spend time with her than any other person on this planet. Sorry. None other lavishes me with grace. None other holds me in my tears. None other stands toe-to-toe to confront. In love. None other on this earth cares about me as she.

** She is my love. Yeah...

And I'm just getting started.

** She cuts my hair.
** She cooks. Oh, my, does she cook! If you have been blessed to sit at our table, you know what she can do in a kitchen.
** She is an artisan. She brings beauty to whatever she touches.
** She is a friend to others. A mentor. A confidant. A minister (please, don't take that out of context).
** She's a hoot!
** She kills me at Scrabble, Settlers, Euchre. BUT NOT CRIBBAGE!
** She loves a love story but will still go with me to movies where things explode and superheroes wear goofy uniforms.
** She has come to love baseball because she loves me.
** Football. Same deal.
** She outshoots me on the pistol range--every time.
** She carries. Oh, I love this woman.
** She does my taxes and balances my books.
** She reads to me when we travel
** She laughs at my jokes.

Why this elegy? It's her birthday. Consider it a documented praise to God for this woman, a remembrance for the 29+ years that he has put her on this planet, a thanksgiving by me for the opportunity to know this woman. I hope you will get the opportunity to know her, too. There is none like her!

Happy birthday, Tracy!

Train yourself!

Today could not be a prettier day here in north Texas. The storms of yesterday have given way to a radiant blue sky with a dusting of high cirrus providing the canopy for a green seldom seen in these parts. Everything that has ever dreamt of flowering has ruptured into bloom. Really, a glorious spring that God has provided these parts.

That has nothing to do with my pending musing.  Just thought I'd share.

Some of you are gym rats. You hunger for the weights like Lady Gaga hungers for the paparazzi. Some of you obsess more than that. Some just like to tone. Some like to run. Others opt for the remote and a box of Twinkies. Regardless of your current calisthenic fanaticism, I suspect you can look at a time in your life where you have rigorously trained for something.

Some of you fly jets. Others practice law (love that phrase, like practicing medicine. Will they ever let you do more than practice?). Some shoot scratch golf. One friend was a Navy SEAL (I haven't yet seen him balance a ball on his nose). Regardless of what drove you to that goal, you understand the requirements for discipline, focus, intention, effort, and pain to attain the things of value. In the middle of Paul's first letter to his dear friend, Timothy, a man he considered so dear he referred to him as his "child in the faith," Paul exhorted him with,

"...train yourself for godliness." (1 Timothy 4:7b)

Paul knows men. He speaks about how men are wont to focus on fitness (v. 8), and he notes that while there is benefit to physical training, training ourselves in things spiritual has far greater benefit. Might I suggest an implication here? Then why don't we do it?

This wasn't a suggestion Tim was receiving from his mentor; it was a command.

So, husband, train yourself for godliness. Do. It.

Where do I start? I know how that feels. If you haven't been to a fitness center, that place that used to be called a gym, you might feel like you just walked into NASA or a farm supply warehouse depending on the facility you've chosen. "Where to begin?" you wonder. Paul does not leave his friend in the fog.

"Set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity...devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching." (1 Timothy 4:12-13)

It took you two seconds to read that sentence. Consider this one:

"Knock out three sets on bench, squats, curls, military press, with a weight that will max you out at ten reps on the first set, then increase the weight and decrease the reps with each subsequent set."

It took you maybe three seconds. Do you feel the burn from reading it? Are you stronger after reading it? Need a rub down, now? Of course not. Reading is not doing. It would take you time in the gym (not reading this drivel) to accomplish what was demanded.

As Paul encouraged the young pastor to "set the believers an example," so too must you, husband, set an example in your home, before your wife and before your children. This is not a hypocritical "do as I say and not as I do" but rather a biblical "follow me as I follow Christ." To be able to proclaim that, you must, of course, first be following Christ.

So in this spiritual gym, what's on the workout plan?

1. Your speech
2. Your conduct
3. Your love toward God and others
4. Your faith and trust in God
5. Your purity
6. Your exposing your family to the word
7. Your ability to exhort, motivate and encourage them
8. Your teaching them

Notice that with one through five, you can work on these without a spotter. You, the word, and the Holy Spirit, as you focus on the Master, your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, can knock these out in the solitude of your soul. The results will be manifest before others. In six through eight you become the mentor and coach as you plow into your family.

Now consider the scope of training that each bullet requires! What must happen for you to be an example in your speech? How many verses in Scripture focus on the tongue, its misuse and abuse, and how it should be used for God's glory and for the building up of his creatures? What is entailed in your training toward becoming a man of purity? Paul just told you to run a spiritual marathon. Not suggested, mind you, he demanded it. How you going to train? What's your plan?

If you are a man of God, a follower of God, a son of God, a disciple and lover of our Lord Jesus Christ, then these things must matter to you. I'll not sit here and explain what you must do with each bullet; I'd be writing until June. This is for you, brother. God commands you to train toward godliness. You're Sylverster Stallone. He's Burgess Meredith. You gonna listen to Mick? Submit yourself to his plan.

"Practice these things, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers." (1 Timothy 4:15-16)

So let us not be cut in physique alone. Do not be a master of Call of Duty III and a casualty in your spiritual duty. Grab your Bible, submit your heart to God, and get to work. 

• Practice
• Devote
• Keep watch
• Persist 

You can and must do no less.

An MRI

Husband, do you spend time with God in his word?

Next question, when's the last time someone asked you that face to face? Or turn it around, when's the last time you asked that of another brother in Christ? Gents, those questions can expose what's going on inside our hearts better than any MRI. I dare you to lay that question on a brother. Lay it on me.

Consider the follow-up questions that the previous Q's will naturally elicit:

• If you are not in the Bible daily, why not?
• How important is God's word to you? Why or why not?
• What keeps you from spending time with God in his word?
• Do you thirst for God and his word like a football player thirsts for water during August's two-a-days (Psalm 63:1)? If not, why not?
• When you open God's word, do the pages spring to vivid life more than a 50-inch HDTV, or do the words lie there with the appeal of shredded wheat?
• If you are reading, what are you reading? Do you remember what you read this morning? Yesterday?
• What has God taught you in his word?
• How has God manifested his love for you through his word?
• How has God revealed his glory and majesty to you through his word?

All of this because of my relationship to God through his word.

This is no mere book we hold in our hands. It is the breath of God. It is his on-going conversation with us.  It is not static nor stagnant. It is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). It is Christ (John 1:1)! God forbid that we should get into the word as merely filling the square or as mowing the lawn just because it needs it. I should relish being with God in his word as much as I delight in being with my bride in our bed (Jeremiah 2:2).

If God has no place in my life, if I have no appetite for him, I am sick and I need a physician. Little will function as it should if I am malnourished of that which I need above all things. If I do not have a passionate love for God and his word, I will be ill-equipped to love my wife as I should.

So husband, I ask again, do you spend time with God in his word?