Shallow man

Does not wisdom cry out,
 

And understanding lift up her voice? 

She takes her stand on the top of the high hill,
 

Beside the way, where the paths meet. 

She cries out by the gates, at the entry of the city,
 

At the entrance of the doors...

Proverbs 8:1-3

We are shallow, and we don't care.

As America swirls with greater speed into the porcelain abyss, we get more and more and more talk. We get very little thought and almost no reflection. In the debates that have taken place for a Republican candidate and will certainly come for President and Vice President, the respondents will have 30 seconds to craft an argument. Folks, you can't develop an argument in thirty seconds. You can cough up a sound bite or a hair ball, but a man must build  an argument upon foundations of substance and not propaganda, emotion, and slander.

If we elect substance over form in the coming election, it will only be by God's good grace. Few will do their homework before November.

This past week, I spoke with a young man who had just returned from an overseas mission trip. He said to me, "Mr. Pond, I was amazed because men just don't want to get involved within the church." He meant in the country where he had ministered, but I turned it back on him, "It's not just in foreign lands. In the American church today, it is the women who are hungry for the things of the Lord."

Consider, brothers:

-- Do we know God and his word? (John 17:3)

-- Is his pleasure the most important thing to me in everything that I say and do?

-- Do I even know what his pleasure is? Have I ever read the entirety of his word? Do I feed upon it, study it, and know it?  But I do know how many RBI's Josh Hamilton has.

-- Does my understanding of the world around me pass through the lens of God's word? Do I scrutinize my life and the world around me based upon what God's word says?

In light of that point, I am dumbstruck when I hear Christians talking about the American political process and our government, and the things they say fly in the opposite direction of God's clear proclamations.

Continuing.

-- As a man, how are you serving in your church? What do you do to help the body be the body on a regular basis?

-- Is your pastor bold and unashamed about stepping on your toes, confronting sin in the church, confronting sin in our nation and culture not by standing high atop his pulpit and pointing down in condemnation but by announcing with clarity what God's word says?

-- Has he ever dared preach a message on damnation and salvation? If he has, does he ever not? Does he get past the salvation message to preaching of the full counsel of God's word so that the believer might be equipped to move beyond baptism toward living life in a fallen world in a manner that pleases our God and Savior? 

-- Are we taught and disciplined toward reflecting Christ above all things that we might love him with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength?

We say it. We know it. But we do not do it. It's like loving your wife. We might cover the passages in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3 regarding husbands and say "Oh, yeah," but when it comes to living it out, our legs are as useless as the man beside Bethesda. When Christ commands, "Get up and walk," if we just sit there, our newly strengthened legs avail us nothing.

Wisdom calls aloud in the streets. God is not hiding from us. We know right where to find him.

When I began my first blog, Ripples Across the Pond, I did so to spur on the men of my church. Our discussions over the things of this life in light of God's word seemed to get cut short on Wednesday nights, so I started writing about those things through the lens of God's word to encourage and prod my brothers forward. Today, most of my readership is women.

Our nation's Founders didn't have Call of Duty VIII; they answered the call to duty. They labored hard at their business or at their farm or both, and in the evening, they fed upon God's word and upon great works of literature. They didn't avoid conversations about politics and religion, those were the topics of conversation because those were the things that mattered. These men hammered their ideas and convictions upon the anvil of God's word, and as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), they further honed them in debate and argument with one another.

Husband, if we want to be men that matter in the darkening days our nation's history, we must work. Read well and read deep. Study God's word in all its pages first and foremost, but read widely, too. Read history. Read great fiction. Read great non-fiction.

And then talk. Talk with your family. Talk with other men. Rhetoric has died. "Dude, how you doin'?" is all we can muster. Challenge a brother. Challenge yourself. "Hey, Bob, I'd like to know your thoughts on Paul Ryan as a vice-presidential candidate for the Republican Party," and see if you and Bob can discuss it without resorting to slander and name-calling. If you think Barack Obama has tanked the nation, can you explain why in more than three sentences? How does he compare with our Founders' intentions for a Constitutional Republic? How has he stood as a leader in light of God's word?

Brothers, I don't have all the answers, but I ache for men to spur me on. If I desire that, my hope is that other men might desire a kick in the keister, too. I write these missives not for you to enjoy but to move you to love your wife by being the man God has called you to be.

Let us not be shallow men. Let us prepare ourselves so that when God seeks a useful man, he might find us prepared, ready to be used in whatever manner he sees fit.

"Let us strive to think well." ~ Blaise Pascal

First things first

On occasion as the need has arisen, I have had the opportunity to preach at my church.

One of the challenges with preaching one Sunday on rare occasions comes in seeking the passage upon which you will preach. The expositional pastor, the man who goes through a book of the Bible, chapter by chapter, verse by verse, doesn't have to worry about what he's preaching Sunday; he follows the flow of the text. Yes, this is gross oversimplification because much goes into God-honoring expositional preaching. To my mind, it is the best preaching. Still, the passage does not have to be chosen. Pared down and poured over, yes. Chosen, no.

The guy who has one Sunday would be hard pressed to get through 3 John in three, which leaves him to search for a small passage or small topic that he can treat with respect and honor in a single Sunday. God burdened me with "The Greatest Commandment."

As I poured through the text, Mark 12:28-34 and its myriad of byways, I wondered about this blog. Jesus said with unwavering clarity,

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Do I over emphasize the need for husbands to love their wives? Am I encouraging you to set your bride up as an idol? My heart leaps up in defense, "Certainly not!" That is not my intent.

I began this corner of the universe to encourage men, Christian men specifically, to love their wives because I have seen too many men junk their marriage. Honestly, they first have to junk God before they get to their wives. If my relationship with him is in tatters and his voice has no sway in my life, my bride stands vulnerable to my every whim and idiosyncracy.

The Greatest Commandment must impel me in all things.

And really, it is no contradiction to impel you and others toward loving your wife. Peter did this very thing. As did Paul. So, too, did Jesus Christ when he did not stop with the greatest commandment-- though that is what he was asked--but continued into the second which he said was like the first:

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Indeed, on these hang all the law and the prophets. Our vertical relationship with God must be right, I must love my God above all things, and yet God makes plain in the pages of Scripture that our love for him must bear out in our love for one another. Our sacrificial laying down of ourselves to God, our willingness to see his name glorified at any cost to our lives, is most vividly seen in our love for our neighbor. You have no neighbor closer to you, husband, than the beauty who sleeps at your side.

• Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness...whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. (1 John 2:9, 11)
• Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. (1 John 3:15)

Hate is a strong word. Were I to ask you point blank, "Do you hate your wife?" you would look at me as if I'd just sprouted eight-legs. While we might not confess such a thing, do we live it in practice? Neglect. Biting words. Stilted conversation. No conversation. No tenderness. No nurturing. No leading. Do our actions betray us?

• If anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? (1 John 3:17)

Great question, John. Husbands?

If we do love God, it will blossom in our love (care, concern, affection, etc.) for others. So says the word of God.

• Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)
• Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (4:11)
• If we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (4:12)
• He who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. (4:20)
• And this is the commandment we have from him, whoever loves God must also love his brother. (4:21)

C.S. Lewis summed it up with his usual incisiveness:

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.  In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all.  When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.

The priority remains: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength. If you find me deviating from the course in these proddings, prod back. Let me know if the supremacy of Christ is lacking in these things.

Since you cannot have the one without the other, I pray you will understand what I mean when I spur you on with, "Husband, love your wife!"

A note to the wives

I have to laugh when I upload one of these blog musings to Facebook and the majority of the comments that I get are from women. So, ladies, I know this is "Husbands, Love Your Wives," but this one's for you.


Some time ago, I began reading through the Bible with my daughters.  They had gotten past the kiddie picture Bibles, and since one of the greatest times of growth in my own life came when I first read through the entirety of Scripture, I thought I would introduce my lovely daughters to the full counsel of God's word. That, in a nutshell, takes us to Proverbs.

As we scour that treasure cache of gold bullion together, I try to help them see how it applies to them. I often change the "hims" and "sons" to "hers" and "daughters" that they might hear God speaking to their heart. The other night, two verses stuck out as though in bold print as we hunted through chapter nineteen.  First one:

A foolish son is a ruin to his father,

and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain. (Proverbs 19:13)

So I ask my girls (because they have had a great example of what a wife is as they have looked to their mother), "Do you want to be like a leaky roof to your husband, an annoyance to him?" In unison they responded with brows knit and heads shaking, "No, of course not."  The very next verse:

House and wealth are inherited from fathers,

but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19:14)

Time for definitions.  Prudent. "Wise or judicious in practical affairs; sagacious; discreet or circumspect; sober," says Dictionary.com (does anyone use the book version anymore?). Such a wife is from the Lord. "Girls, would you rather be this kind of woman to your man or the other kind of woman?" Really, is there any other answer.


As I asked my girls these questions, I literally thought of you all. For a Christian woman who loves the Lord above all else and seeks to honor him, the answers are obvious. I hope. But while you may want to be this kind of woman for your man, are you? What would your man say if you asked him sincerely, no retribution? Would he say that you are more prudent or more quarrelsome?


Considering I don't know whose eyes grace this site, I point at no one in particular. How does the mirror of these two consecutive verses in Proverbs help you see yourself? The descriptions are his. And if you're a daughter of the King, you know his commands full well. Carrying this out? Not so easy. If you believe that you have been more dripping than prudent toward your husband, submit yourself to the loving and correcting hand of God, and let him change you from the inside out.


Wives, go love your husbands!

A woman's take on a REAL man

Sometimes figuring out what your woman wants can be as difficult as explaining string theory or figuring out what movies will get nominated for best picture.


Deep down, a godly woman wants a godly man, though she might not say so. How does she need that fleshed out? You'll find that in God's word.

Often, it bears fruit to just listen to your bride. No doubt it will vary from lass to lass, but here's a list from a wife who follows after God to give you some idea. She's doesn't hammer, belittle, or berate men but encourages women to hold out for real men who live by these ennobling traits and characteristics. They are out there.  Here's hoping it's you.

As far as it jives with God's word, be this guy (parentheticals, mine):

A man who communes with his Creator daily and strives to live a life that glorifies God.


A man who works long hours and spends his hard-earned wages to care for his family, [care for his church, care for the lost, and care for the poor]. And on occasion treats his family to a Cherry Limeade and Redbox rental.


A man who reaches down to pick up his little girl when she trips and falls and holds her close until her tears are gone.


A man who gathers his children around him at night to tell them a story.


A man who would never go see a movie about a group of female strippers, no matter how many people were saying it was okay.


A man who researches recipes on the internet and makes a huge and messy meal in the kitchen so his beloved doesn’t have to make supper one night.


A man who treats the elderly with respect and dignity by listening to them tell stories about their glory days.


A man who tends to the azalea bushes by the front porch, clipping them down when they need it and watering them morning after morning after morning.


A man who hops up from his reading when he hears you doing the dishes and gives you a hand [or does the dishes always since she crafts the most sumptuous meals].


A man who thoughtfully answers every question his little boy has about “why?” and “how?” the world and everything in it works.


A man who leaves whatever he is doing to help you when your car breaks down.


A man who gets up at night to fix the baby a bottle while you lay drooling on your pillow [or if nursing, changes the diaper and brings you the baby].


A man who comes home with the new book you’ve been wanting, and its not even your birthday.


A man who has trained his eyes to look away from other women, even when they look better than you do.


A man who is humble enough to grow, long after he has become an adult.


A man who wants you and finds his satisfaction in you, and you alone, after many years of marriage and fidelity [think "marital plane" and not spiritual absolute; then we would be speaking of God as our sole satisfaction].


A man with happy wrinkles around his eyes that prove how many times he has smiled at you.


A man who sets up controls on his computer to avoid even the temptation to look at pornography.


A man who has dignity and modesty and self-control.


A man who refuses to speak profanity and hushes others when they use it in your vicinity.


A man who would give his life for you and the children, in a heartbeat.


A man who says “I do”…for better or for worse…for richer or poorer…in sickness and in health…forever.

A husband's biggest mistake?

From the other room, I heard a sober "Wow," fall from the lips of my wife. "Check this out," she beckoned. The quote that caught her eye:

A MAN'S BIGGEST MISTAKE 

IS GIVING ANOTHER MAN 

AN OPPORTUNITY TO 

MAKE HIS WOMAN SMILE.

Let's apply it to where to our marriage relationships:

A HUSBAND'S BIGGEST MISTAKE 

IS GIVING ANOTHER MAN 

AN OPPORTUNITY TO 

MAKE HIS WIFE SMILE.

Really my point here is not to argue the greatest mistake or whether or not mistakes equate directly to sin. I would like you to simply let the main idea of the maxim marinate in your mind.

Let's revisit that which we've tried to hammer home in the past. 

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."

~ Proverbs 18:22

King Lemuel highlighted the same point by driving home that an excellent wife is worth far more than jewels (Proverbs 31:10). Peter's usage of "weaker vessel" also points to the valuable and precious thing that is a wife. If a man is married, he has no greater treasure in this life than the one that lays beside him at night. She is...

His best friend. 

His lover. 

His helper. 

His completer. 

His confidant. 

His comforter. 

His encourager. 

His rebuker.

Some might bluster that these are actions of God. Yes. God should be my best friend. I should have no greater love in this life than him. He is described as Comforter and yes, he disciplines. But he is the One who has given man woman on this earth to do and be these things in the physical realm. This is a good thing (or so says Almighty God).


Back, then, to the old saw at the start of the post. Do I so treasure my woman, do I hold her in such high honor and high esteem, do I love her so deeply and so completely that if another man does make her smile, she snickers inside because she has a man at home that does so much more for her than make her smile?

A man who listens to what she says 

A man who loves her from stem to stern 

A man who is tender in a manner that doesn't always lead to the bedroom 

A man who is strong and will not be domineered

A man who serves in the home, in the community, in the church, and in his work 

A man who leads his family and leads his wife

A man who seeks to satisfy her physical and emotional needs 

 A man who will join his wife in her joys from time to time 

A man who invites his woman to join him in his

They say that the best defense is a good offense. The best way to prevent adulterous leanings? Have a great marriage now. The best way to have a great marriage now? You be a great husband now! As husbands and wives honor God by becoming one flesh (and ALL that that entails inside and outside the bedroom), they give no place for Satan to do his dirty work, destroy the marriage, and disgrace the name of God (1 Corinthians 7:5).


So husband, love your wife. Go make her smile!